Life To Nowhere

Life

2008-11-30T07:21:00.002Z

What if you slept?

And what if,
In your sleep
You dreamed?

And what if,
In your dream,
You went to heaven

And there plucked
A strange and
Beautiful flower?

And what if,
When you awoke,
You had the flower
In your hand?.... Ah, what then?

Samuel Taylor Coleridge
1772-1834

The Edge

2008-11-29T10:23:00.003Z

“A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.”
Oscar Wilde

Artist: MichaelO

Giggle

2008-11-29T09:57:00.000Z

Men See You As: An Attainable Challenge

You know how to make your man crave more of you

But you also know when to show some interest back

You're good at keeping your guy guessing

And over time, you'll let him know how you really feel

Do Men Find You a Challenge?

Rain

2008-11-28T16:28:00.000Z

A Moment

2008-11-28T14:10:00.004Z

I felt awkward standing there today, as did you. Was out of the blue meeting you in the bank, it was too late for me to pretend I hadn't seen you. I had avoided this meeting for so long. I said 'I've missed you', you said 'can we talk' we walked outside and you said 'I'm so sorry' I couldn't look at you anymore, I was going to cry any minute in front of those shoppers rushing around us while time stood still for me.

You brushed the hair from my face, just looking at me with the same blue eyes. 'I don't know what to say, it's all gone wrong' You held me, so naturally, I breathed in, so familiar, your scent. You kissed my forehead and told me it would be all right, but we both knew it would never be again.

We made small talk as she walked towards us, holding your child. Three months now.

How wrong it turned out. You had finally told me how you felt, it came out of the blue. We had been friends for years, we talked of the future.You had to leave on family business and when you came back from Scotland it was to tell her it was over, finished. She told you she was having your child. That was the end. I let you go and haven't contacted you since. I heard he was born with curls like yours,but all I see are his blue eyes ... I haven't answered your calls, your texts.

I smile and congratulate her, make small feminine talk about babies. She looks tired and worn. I feel you watching me over her head. I glance up, there is nothing left to say. My heart breaks, I say I must go, Im in a rush work etc. I want to say 'do you realise she knows?' but there is no point, I wont ever see you again.

Birth Order

2008-11-28T01:18:00.002Z

What is your birth order and the birth order of your partner (if you have one)? Do you feel birth order influences your relationships (romantic and friendship)?

Make sure you leave a link to your answer in the comments section and link to the sites featured with the questions.

If you do answer on your blog, please spread the link love and link to:
Aud from Mom.Dad.ChatAbbey at Random Thoughts
Don’t forget to leave me a link in the comments to your response.
Have fun!

Hadnt really thought about this. Im an only girl, which could suggest I have a tendency to be spoilt. Yes Ive been known to stamp my foot in an arguement with my partner. I also realised I was terribly protected by my parents and didnt have a clue about what it takes to share ones life with someone, I mean the basics like budgetting, shopping, saving etc... kinda assumed they just all happened...lol

My Fantasy

2008-11-27T13:25:00.005Z

Would be to have you here when I awake, curled around me. To watch you sleep, your chest rising and falling softly. In that moment between dreams and life, to hear you breathing beside me.To kiss the salt of sleep from your eyes and lie with my cheek against the warmth of your skin. To do nothing but spend time with you. But tis only a fantasy, one that fills my mind in sleep. And I sigh as I awake and your not here, nor ever will be. Your in your own life far from mine, yet I miss you

Escape

2008-11-26T13:12:00.001Z

by aperitif

Black

2008-11-25T13:47:00.003Z

Its Got To Be Better Than This

2008-11-25T01:42:00.003Z

Sorry Im a bit slack on visiting and blogging. I am doing it tough at work at the moment. We have a new manager who sees everyone as a threat and is targeting some of us. It's just textbook bullying and harrasment and there is little any of us can do but survive each work day. If I still have a job after Christmas I'll be surprised and that has me worried sick. At the moment I seem to be just working and sleeping so Im sorry Im not sure when it will get back to normal, if ever.

Meditation

2008-11-23T11:06:00.002Z

Artist's Comments

Oftentimes I fall into a state of constant stress and I get lost in it, like a whole other world where everything is absolute chaos and I can’t seem to break free from it; where, every time I try to, there is always something new to worry about. What I’ve become aware of, though, is that I’m able to stop that cycle. I now often turn to meditation – it’s the safe place away from all of that, like a shield. I can “get away” for some time, to a more peaceful place where I turn off my thoughts for a while, and I can come back to the stress with a clearer conscience, greater positive energy and the ability to deal with it more effectively. When it feels as though everything is falling to pieces all around over my head, meditation becomes my umbrella.

The Umbrella by *luminatii

Good Advice

2008-11-22T10:14:00.000Z

Work

2008-11-22T10:02:00.003Z

My work has become such a nasty, secretive, awful place and it wasn't always like that. It was an inspiring, happy motivated group but that's all gone. I have 4 girlfriends, in different departments that I'm clinging to, although one (luckily for her) is on maternity leave.

All 4 of us left can do little for each other, but just be there. An extra smile, a roll of the eyes, a giggle at the absurdity of it all. Two are applying for other jobs and we are cheering them on. It will be sad if they leave for those that are left, but freedom from this place is a goal of us all. For now it pays the bills but 'company loyalty' be damned, if we go, we'll take down the Bitch who now managers us. Live by the sword, die by it.

But for now I have 2 days away from it all

“An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

2008-11-21T13:42:00.003Z

Mahatma Gandhi

Eye On The Prize

2008-11-20T09:22:00.003Z

“Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”

Dalai Lama

I went for a job 2 weeks ago with two others. My Manager later told me I shouldnt of as it was chosen before the interview began. I wanted that job, it was supposed to be a promotion, more money, less grueling hours.

Its turned out a shock for the two that were given the job this week. Sixteen more hours a month, no weekends, no nights (thats big dollars) some shifts ending at midnight and starting again at 8 in the morning and it works out I will earn more a week than them, potter along and answer to no-one. Both are a bit shell shocked by all this. They are also 'company men' and will say nothing where as I would of raise hell.

I was angry about the way I was duped regarding the interview, Im so glad now I didnt get the job & feel sorry for my two friends that did. Life works out funny sometimes.

Enlightenment

2008-11-20T09:16:00.000Z

Secrets

2008-11-19T05:56:00.003Z

“Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.”

Dr. Paul Tournier

Stars In Her Eyes

2008-11-18T13:12:00.001Z

Max

2008-11-18T00:58:00.000Z

Christmas Blah

2008-11-17T00:12:00.004Z

Is it just me or do others get depressed by Christmas decorations. I went shopping and it was all push and shove, no one seemed happy. Half didnt even sem to notice what they were shoving in there trollies. Children whinging and greedy. The windows were full of plastic decorations, it all seems so fake. I hate this time of year (sigh) & the Christmas rush hasnt even started.

Message

2008-11-16T09:44:00.008Z

Just a quick word to female bloggers out there. There are some male bloggers doing the rounds. They leave comments on your blog, friendly, caring and inspiring, so you visit theirs. They have a lot of followers and seem sincere so you leave a few comments. Next you get an email about some comment you have left on their site, after 2 or three of these you get an email requesting photos of yourself.

When that is not forth coming they become abusive.They could seem arty, sensitive, oozing friendliness at first but they are not. I'm not sure if anyone else has been subjected to this but girls remember to blog safe, keep your personal details to a minimum, its just not worth putting yourself at risk, especially to those men who seem so charming, but are just cheap sickos out for a thrill...

and if someone seems to good to be true, chances are, they are

Luv Jessica

Beautiful

2008-11-16T01:44:00.000Z

Melancholy

2008-11-15T19:29:00.000Z

No matter where I am, whether everything is great or terrible, even when surrounded by love and happiness, melancholy is always just around the corner.
Rain? Melancholy.
A quiet day? Melancholy.
Being alone? Melancholy.
Having a great day? Melancholy.
Memories? Melancholy.
And tonight, I am alone, its raining, I am in love, and I'm melancholy. There's no helping me, I'm telling you.

Week Over

2008-11-14T17:12:00.003Z

It's been a long week and Im so glad to have the weekend off, I need to get out and do something for myself. Not sure yet what, maybe a long bike ride, maybe just go to the park to feed ducks, would be nice to read something I want for a change rather than those I have to. ... I did discover something in this rain, my flat leaks :( I have two buckets and a dish catching water ... no wonder the rent was cheap but I can live with it.

My Dreams

2008-11-14T06:37:00.000Z

Water

2008-11-14T06:22:00.003Z

I watched a leaf in the rain this morning, I mean really watched it. Then I looked at other leaves, different shapes, different sizes...

A thought occured to me. Every leaf on every plant no matter the shape or complexy of the plant... is designed to get maximum water to the roots.

How incredible is nature?

Just a thought :)

Happiness

2008-11-13T10:19:00.005Z

Take three cords or strings of various, pleasing pastel colors perhaps pink, red, and green and braid them tightly together.

Firmly tie a knot near one end of the braid, thinking of your need for happiness.
Next, tie another knot, and another, until you have tied seven knots. Wear or carry the cord with you until you find happiness.

After that, keep the cord in a safe place, or give to one of the elements, burn and scatter the ashes in the ocean or in a stream.

I have this cord, wound around my phone in my bag. Hope it works.

Full Moon

2008-11-13T01:09:00.000Z

Rain

2008-11-12T18:12:00.003Z

I've just studied for 5 hours straight, my bed is covered with books and papers, notes, my cat lying amongs it all. Nothing makes sense anymore, Im so disorganised. I have the oil heater burning, the flats so cold.

I normally love winter, the rain. I suppose its good weather for studying really. I'm mopping around the house in one of Davids old woolen jumpers that he left here, long sox & a woolen hat.

Im too tired to cook, think I'll just wander down to the chippee if this rain ever lets up, or put some soup on to heat. Ive been sitting in the window now just watching leaves and sticks go down the gutter, funny how you can lose yourself in that & day dreams.

Another hours study and I'll give it a break and go visit everyone in cyber space...I just wish the exams would hurry up and be over

Breakfast

2008-11-12T07:00:00.004Z

Its starting to get cold out, and its wet today but Im going to ride to work...Sitting here eating jam on toast, i bought a loaf you slice yourself so I cut off big slabs and now it wont fit in the toaster (sigh) so I put it under the griller & forgot it... alot of hassle for a peice of toast... I cooked 6 bits to get one good enough to eat and had to scrape that with a knife.

I really need a better job but at least I have one. My g/f rang, an hour before her interview she sliced her finger with a big kitchen knife and had to rush to emergency, which wouldn't of been a bother as she made the interview but then they asked her to type..lol Poor thing with index finger padded she kept missing keys. Her knickers didnt turn out that lucky...

Oh well, coffees made, I best get mobile...I only work till lunch today but then study all evening. I really do need a life ...Have a brilliant day people.

In Dreams She's With Me

2008-11-12T06:37:00.003Z

Ross Costigan

Dove

2008-11-11T16:37:00.002Z

Knickers

2008-11-11T09:06:00.004Z

My girlfriend is going for a job today and rang for some morale support.

Shes more than qualified for this so we were feeling pretty positive and we laughed and giggled at the potential questions and responses.

As I prepared to hang up, my last advice was 'Make sure you have your lucky knickers on' without skipping a beat she said 'Yep got that covered' which sent us in to conspiratorial giggles like school girls.

It made me think later 'Do all women have lucky knickers, if so what about men, what is there psychological suit of armour?'

Art:by `serpentinekiss

4 Abbey & all those Unique

2008-11-11T00:21:00.005Z

“Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music.”

–G.Calin
* hang in there g/f

Letter To The Dead

2008-11-11T00:20:00.004Z

I am not the sum of who you think I am, I am myself and I am stronger than you give me credit for. Are you afraid? If one lives by the sword, one dies by it and I have the luxury of time on my side. I will wait, I will watch you cripple yourself with doubt, with mistrust, I will watch you bleed on the sword.

You picked the wrong angel to take on, did you think I would just shrug off your treatment. You are tainted, poisoned by the way you treat people. Did you not take into account that they now want your blood, that the have little to lose. You gave it your best but I am still here, still watching, still recording every miserable minute of your existence. Don't relax my once friend, it has taken ten years, I can wait another.

Adultery

2008-11-10T12:25:00.006Z

Just back from lunch, nothing extraordinary, meat pie on a park bench. Loves like a pie I think, hot, flaky with such promise. Comfortable, familiar but somehow always disappointing.

The filling never lives up to the package or how you imagine it will be. Pies are cheap and quick, so maybe it is not fair to compare a pie to love. Perhaps to a casual affair, rich and bad for you. A guilty secret from your friends. Usually too hot and burns your mouth. Hidden. Everyone knows pies are bad, but every body eats them.

Convienience foods, are affairs convenient? yes they probably are, they require no commitment. I watch the pigeons and think if pies can be likened to adultry, then what is love, I didnt come up with an answer. I dont think I'll ever understand it.

Let This Week Be Special

2008-11-10T01:50:00.006Z

Snow & Feathers

2008-11-10T01:26:00.000Z

Art by: Amanda Robbins

Dreams

2008-11-09T02:48:00.003Z

“Most people live and die with their music still unplayed. They never dare to try.”

Mary Kay Ash

Deviant Artist:~wineglass

Friday Photo

2008-11-09T02:10:00.002Z

'Sunday'

*Link at M'Girls ...

Austalian Body Paint Artist

2008-11-09T02:05:00.000Z

Emma Hack is a hairdresser, make-up artist and stylist, she is also an incredible body artist. 35 year old Emma who has been painting bodies for 20 years she uses both people and animals in her art some of which take up to 19 hours to produce. [The London Paper]

Alone 3

2008-11-09T01:40:00.000Z

Deviant Artist ~picsbyphil

Cyanide & Happiness

2008-11-08T05:46:00.000Z

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Refrigerators, The Door To The Human Soul

2008-11-08T01:58:00.000Z

If fridges say alot about who we are (I read that somewhere) then this girl is struggling. Mine?

Milk, no fat
Cheeses 5 varietys
Jars of Olives, chillies, capsicum etc
5 salad dressings, low fat
Can of dolmades (with fork sticking out)
plastic container with eye-pencils, mascara, lipstick, moisterizer
another container full of candles (they burn longer cold)
Jug of water with sliced lemons (now brown)
3 x 1/2 bottles of wine
tomato paste solid and moldy
dried out ham
some sort of vegtable mass rotting in the bottom.
2 ice packs...
super cruchy peanut butter, lost the lid, spoon sticking out
3 opened tubs of low fat youghurt, various flavours all of undeterminded age
1 jar fresh ground coffee (large)
1 container Mango and coconut Juice

Now what does this say about me except that fridge cleaning is not high on a single girls list of to-dos...lol

I gotta go shop (well maybe tomorrow)

Lust

2008-11-08T01:11:00.000Z

“Of all the worldly passions, lust is the most intense. All other worldly passions seem to follow in its train.”

Buddha

First Love

2008-11-08T00:16:00.000Z

Love Question 26…

Do you think it’s healthy/unhealthy to marry the only person you have ever dated? Does it matter if a person marries their first love?

Remember, the whole thing is going to work completely the same, just in a different location. I would like to start the link love going again for this as well, so make sure you leave a link to your answer in the comments section and link to the sites featured with the questions.

If you do answer on your blog, please spread the link love and link to Aud from Short Sweet Love Poems who got the Love Questions going and to Abbey at Random Thoughts.

Don’t forget to leave me a link in the comments to your response.
Have fun!

I think it can be healthy to marry your childhood sweetheart. It would take respect, committment and the ability to allow each other to be themselves. I met my husband at 14 and though we didnt date he was my best friend. I left my hometown to see the world and returned at 22 & we dated and married. Though different people now, we have shared memories from childhood, shared experiences (good & bad) and a history that makes us stong, individually and together. So yes it is possible.

Alone 2

2008-11-07T01:23:00.000Z

Indecision

2008-11-06T23:42:00.000Z

My mind is in turmoil today. You justify your internal unrest by saying

'Its just a job'

but its 8 hours a day, 8 hours to endure, 8 hours to survive. Its a pay packet, a means to an end, a way out. It takes from your soul.

When do you say 'Enough!, this is not what my soul needs' when do you get off the treadmill. Worn down, slowly the essence of yourself is eroded.

by the decisions, the hidden agendas, the poison.

When do you take back control? When do you admit you have failed, pick up your scattered dreams, your pride and leave?

When do you stop being a slave to anothers toxic command.

Deadly Sins

2008-11-06T11:50:00.000Z

"Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure." - The Catechism of the Catholic Church, #2351

To be fair, there is one good thing about the sin of Lust: it cannot persist into eternity. In actuality, sins of the flesh tend to burn themselves out over time. After a while lust becomes a habit and what pleasure it brought diminishes until we wonder what the attraction is.

Why am I writing about Lust?, perhaps the Minx just liked the picture.....

The Day Doesnt Matter Anymore

2008-11-06T10:00:00.001Z

Would the idealistic, naive you, be proud of what you have done, or what you've become. Tread lightly and fear, for you are being watched, each day, each minute, each second. Each poisoned breath you steal from the dead, recorded. I owe you that much insignificant fucking whore to the system, enjoy your waltz to the music of the damned for I will see you in hell. Will you enjoy what we both know is tainted, brief & fleeting or will you wait knowing the death that is coming.

Ask not for whom the bell tolls
It tolls for thee.

and I will wait & watch

Judge A Man

2008-11-05T10:09:00.000Z

Not by the colour of his skin,
but by the content of his character.

Leave Me

2008-11-04T10:18:00.000Z

*click to enlarge

What Colour of Death Are You

2008-11-03T10:27:00.000Z

Quizilla

Dante's Inferno

2008-11-01T09:36:00.000Z

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Seventh Level of Hell

Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.

Thanks Diver

Stone

2008-10-30T09:43:00.000Z

Parting

2008-10-28T09:46:00.000Z

God I'm tired, I'm tired of responsibility, of being the only one. Of juggling bills, of working, every day is the same, wake up, work, sleep...fuck it all to hell ... Fake being happy, fake coping, fake life...at 14 we ran away, at 20 we talked of faking our own death, even then we wanted to escape, new starts, geographical ... running from ourselves...

Where is my little wolf pack, my out casts .... all but two are dead ...me and another

I met my husband at 14

whats it all for ...

I wait for the child to leave

That's all life is ... a succession of partings, some torn from you, others run, some outgrow you, some slowly drift I think thats the saddest.

Do you think you are secure, pull that blanket of smugness around you, we are all only dependent on ourselves ...

divorce, cancer, death do you think you are immune, we are born alone and die alone ...

vampire

2008-10-27T10:15:00.000Z

Pssssstttt....

2008-10-26T09:50:00.002Z

Post Secret

Hi From Jess

2008-10-25T10:28:00.002+01:00

My first post, and while not all that awe inspiring will give me a record of why im here. Ive been reading others for a while and met Abbey on her self harm site and followed her blogs since then. Due to studying I didnt think I had the time to commit to a blog but then Abbey pointed out that its my space. so I can write when I like and it is also a place for me to 'meet' others, if people click to what is me thats brilliant but if they move on thats ok too... the internet world has enough space for us all.

So Hi! to all the people and friends I have yet to meet... The Minx